All I Can Do Is Try…

TF2 Advice: How to piss off your Medic – Part 1

Picture the scene:

It’s ctf_turbine.  You’re on the Blu team and you’re pushing hard towards the Red team’s intel room.  You are playing as The Medic.  You are the saviour of your team, and you’re one of the reasons that they’re able to get as far towards the intel as they have.  You’ve been healing them after Crits, fires, sentries and bonks.  You are one of their greatest assets, and they love you for the service you provide.  However, the Medic isn’t immune to damage and you’re not looking so good.  You’ve been hit by a sniper with a Huntsman, shot at by various little bitches with their pistols, suffered some splash damage from a rocket launcher, and now the final straw: a W+M1 Pyro is coming at you and your guys.  You’re now on fire.

What do you do?

Of course it is fair to say that the Medic’s health does regenerate, however that is not immediate and sometimes your health is just too low to make that your mainstay.  So, what do you do?  You do the sensible thing: go in the search of some health.

Some games aren’t as good as others, and this would be an example of that because there’s no engineer with a dispenser nearby.  And even worse: YOU’RE THE ONLY MEDIC!  Your team needs you, which means that you can’t afford to die at this critical moment.  You do the only thing you can and run back to where you konw the nearest health kit is.  All will be well, and before they know it you will be back fixing up your team.

Or so you think.

Just as you’re arriving at the health kit which has your name written all over it, some little punk-ass scout on your own team, who only has a boo-boo on their ankle which their mother could kiss better runs in and steals your saving grace.  You are then overcome with the flames and simply die, leaving your team without some vital support.

Click to embiggen

The moral of this lesson to all TF2 players?  If you see a burning medic, or one who you can see is a little low on health, but yours is not yet in the red and yet you’re running for a health kit, LET THE MEDIC TAKE THE HEALTH!

I can’t count how many times now I have died while trying to help the rest of my team, because one person whose health, like the scout here, is only down by 10% picks up the only medkit in sight letting the medic die before their eyes.  Seriously, being down 10% on health isn’t going to kill you, not when you’re looking at a medic.  However, having been at the front line, and now getting set on fire when your health was already only at 30 points WILL kill you.  And the same person complaining about the lack of medic support will be the first to take the health kit from the medic.  Think before you self-heal!

(The picture was created by me using Garry’s Mod).

Tags: Gaming, Garry's Mod, Team Fortress 2, TF2
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Friday5, for 5th March 2010

A different Friday5 website this time.  And these questions aren’t even from this week, they’re old ones because I wasn’t terribly interested in talking about rice.

1. What is your favorite blanket like?
Purple and many layered.

2. What was the last thing you baked?
I think it was brownies, or maybe a cheesecake, I can’t remember, but it was one of those two.

3. What television personality gets you most hot and bothered?

Do I need to explain myself?

4. When did you last burn yourself?
I think a little while back I turned the kettle off at the wall while steam was still coming out of it, and that’s just dumb

5. What are your feelings about hot sauce?
Not so keen.  Can’t say that we have any.

Tags: Friday Five, Friday5, Vincent D'Onofrio
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The Tempers become Criminals!

Again, not all of them become criminals, but probably the most unlikely one.  Previously, age caught up with Marlon and he had to catch up with the rest of the world.  He started this by meetin’ sum laydeez.

Dinner, mah laydee?

Within hours of meeting his mark target laydee-friend, he was taking her out to dinner to cement the relationship.

For and old guy, he sure moves fast

And after dinner he was proposing to her.  Geez, young at heart I suppose.

MOM!! I'M GETTIN' MARRIED!

The first thing which the agéd Marlon did was rush home and tell his Mother that he’s getting married.

Oooh yeah. Oldie WooHoo!

Don’t forget to take your teeth out.

Damn, that's a turn up for the books

The next time that Marlon saw his Fiancée he was a little surprised.  Errr…hadn’t she told him she was using birth control?  Hadn’t he told her that he was too old to sire children?

Yeah, whatever

Alex was still raking in the cash during her Fundraising gigs, she had an eclectic mix of people that she invited to them.  If I remember correctly she was trying to screw this guy, and the old woman died the following day.  They were dancing like teenagers, and it disturbed me.

Oh dear Marlon, what have you got yourself into?

The end is nigh!  Run Marlon, run!

Doting daddy?

The kid was born, and Marlon helped get his Fiancée and new son back to their home.  Not his home mind, but her home.  Wanna know what this kid was called?  It seriously made me grimmace.  The game chose the name “Dequan”.  Oh.  My.  God.

Alex has a confession

Remember all that money which I said Alex was making from the campaign fundraisers?  Well, in the past she’d had the opportunity to take money from it in the hope that she wouldn’t be caught.  I decided that she shouldn’t.  Then one day I figured that as she was almost at the top of her career there was less chance of it being noticed.  Oh hell no!  She took some money out of the fund and the next thing I know she’s fired.  She returned home and confided in her youngest brother, Fin.

Alex cannot live with herself any longer.

Unable to reconcile with herself, Alex decides suicide is the best option and promptly returns herself to the netherworld, never to be seen again.

Tags: Birth, Gaming, Marriage, Pregnancy, Relationships, Sims 3, Temper Family, The Sims
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NOT what I need to see during lunch

Sometimes I like to go out and visit places.  You know, just for a little relaxation.  Nothing wrong with that as we all need a little downtime.  So recently we went to London Zoo.  I’d never been before so it was a little adventure.

It was going to be a fairly long day which meant we’d be eating lunch out.  We decided to eat at the zoo itself as we were there at the time.  We got our nosh and tried to find somewhere to sit.  There was nowhere immediately available in the main seating area, so we ended up in some ante-room which was probably for groups of school kids judging by the benching.  At the back of the room were about three or four families.  There were, I would say, three times the amount of children than there were adults.  That’s not a good equation.

It gets worse.  At one point I happened to glance back at these families, all of whom seemed to have babies as well as toddling or school aged children.  One of these woman was changing her baby’s dirty nappy on the lunch table.

You're kidding me? Simples!

I freaking wish I was kidding.  Is it just me or is it a fucking disgusting thing to do?  The next person (or group of school children!) to eat at that table won’t know that someone’s kid with a shitty nappy has been all over it.  Eugh, it just made me want to hurl.  We were in a freaking café, it’s not like the toilets and baby changing area were 3 miles away.  None of the other parents said a thing to this woman, so I suppose it’s normal to all of them?

Eww!  I’m not one to be bothered by the whole hygeine thing, but seriously, changing a kid’s shitty nappy on a public dining table is just…not right.  It’s beyond wrong.

Tags: Childfree, Children, I see dumb people, Stupid People
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Brooklyn Bar Bans Babies

Damn, alliteration just handed to me on a plate!

So, a bar in Brooklyn has taken the step to ban babies and children after 5pm.

Oh my god, I just want to bow down at the owner’s feet.  They deserve the be revered.  As long as they still ban babies after 5pm the next time that I’m in New York, I am so visiting there.

Now, just for the rest of the world to start banning babies and I’ll be so damn happy.  At some point in the very near future I have to write about something that I saw while on a day out in London.  Eugh.

Tags: Banning Children, Brooklyn, Childfree, Childfreedom, I hate children, New York
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Friday Five – 26th February 2010

The Friday Five for 26th February 2010.  This time, it’s about reading.

1) What’s your favorite magazine?
I don’t read ‘magazines’ as such, certainly not the glossy ones.  However, I do have a subscription to Private Eye.

2) What book are you currently reading?
I’m on Daemon at present, by Daniel Suarez.  I’ve almost finished it too, it has large print so it hasn’t taken long.

3) What’s the worst book you ever read?
There are a few that contend for that prize, however I’ll mention two.  One is Pride and Prejudice – anyone who likes that book seriously needs some therapy.  There are absolutely no redeeming features of it, especially not with the stupid romantic ideas about womanhood and marriage.  I can only assume that people who adore this book also condone the oppression of women in society.  Secondly, it would have to be Brick Lane by Monica Ali.  That was the biggest crock of patronising shit that I had read in a long time.  It is one of few books that I’ve read where the characters don’t change at all throughout the entire thing.

4) What makes a book perfect for you?
It has to be written in a way that means I can envisage the characters going about their actions.  It doesn’t have to be fast paced, but things have to happen and people have to change during the course of it.  I like it when there’s a bit of mystery too.  Oh yeah, and normally forbidden/taboo stuff will get me hooked.

5) If you could buy any book right now, which one would it be?
I’m gonna say something really, really boring for this but I’m quite enamoured by Criminal Justice in England and the United States.  I know, I know.  Doesn’t it just sound so…academic?  I’ve spent two and a half years reading little other than acadmic books – it grows on you eventually.

Tags: Books, Friday Five, Reading
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A Year in Team Fortress 2

Yep, it’s been a year since I plunged into the world of Team Fortress 2, or as it’s more commonly known TF2.  This is moment when I say:

OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!

A whole year?  Really?  It doesn’t feel like it.  TF2 was bought on a whim one day when I logged into Steam to play Day of Defeat: Source (or Day of Defear: Sauce as I keep spelling it) and saw that they had TF2 on offer for a couple of days.  Half price no less, and it’s probably the best £7 I’ve ever spent.

Over the past year I have played TF2 for almost 300 hours.  That’s no so bad.  That is the equivalent of twelve and a half days spent at this desk gaming.  It averages, recently anyway as about 15 hours over each two week period.  Over those 300 hours I have been frustrated, placated and entertained.  And here are my stats for the year 25th February 2009 until 24th February 2010.

Total playtime: 321.1 hours

Classes ranked by playtime
Medic – 70.2 hours
Engineer – 52.5 hours
Pyro – 29 hours
Soldier – 14.1 hours
Scout – 6.3 hours
Heavy – 5.7 hours
Demoman – 5.3 hours
Spy – 4.2 hours
Sniper – 3.4 hours

I don’t spy or snipe terribly well, as you can probably guess.

I have achieved almost 50% of all available Steam Achievements.

Records and statistics

The following is the record for each of these done within one life, from the instant of first spawning to the instant of death.

Most points: 43 (as Engineer)
Most kills: 14 (as Engineer)
Most kills by sentry: 14 (as Engineer)
Most assists: 14 (as Medic)
Most captures: 9 (as Soldier)
Most defenses: 5 (as Engineer)
Most damage: 2,891 (as Sniper)
Most destruction: 8 (as Spy)
Most dominations: 2 (as Medic)
Most revenges: 3 (as Pyro)
Most ÜberCharges: 4 (as Medic)
Longest life: 27:21 (as Engineer)
Most backstabs: 3 (as Spy)
Most buildings built: 14 (as Engineer)
Most headshots: 6 (as Sniper)
Most health healed: 8,962 (as Medic)
Most health leeched: 103 (as Spy)
Most teleports: 72 (as Engineer)

You can obviously tell, I’m a kind hearted person by the amount of time that I play the Medic.  I wish other people would play the Medic too, I’m getting kinda tired of being the Medic all the time.  And as much as I love playing the Engie, those darn spies are sappin’ mah patience.

If you see me round, say “Hi!”.  I like a game, and I’m a keep on playin’.

Tags: Gaming, Team Fortress 2, TF2
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Age catches up with the Tempers

Well, not all of them, of course.  Previously we had one of the Tempers doing the right thing by his girl.  Now it’s all just getting a little messy.

For the love of money...

Alex, the ghostly one in politics was doing well in her career, and had become accustomed to asking for donations or throwing fundraisers.  While this sim willingly gave a donation, he then started to cry about it.

Age catches up with Marlon

After a distinguished career in the military Marlon decided to retire upon old age.  Now he had some catching up to do with the rest of the world.

The holy grail of repair jobs

Elaine finally asked Marlon who was maxed out in the handiness skill to have a go at repairing the stereo which caused her Mother’s death.

HORRIFIED!!!!!!11!!!!1!!!eleventy!!!1!

So, I sent Elaine down to the graveyard.  I wanted her to find some life fruit seeds.  While there, I noticed that you could interact with the mausoleum.  Yeah, she had a great time exploring those catacombs.  What did she get for her troubles?  A book.  A freaking book.  This was a moodlet that I hadn’t seen before.  Now, it’s a long while since I first got The Sims 3, but I’m still seeing new things.

Bobby's a hit

Bobby’s a hit now that he’s a movie composer.  He holds autograph signing events where people are so enamoured to see him that they don’t mind becoming a hood ornament.

Offending the guests?

Someone’s been offending the guests.

Dear ol' Livi tries one last time

Livi gives it one last go at getting her insane girlfriend to marry her.  You can guess on the outcome.  It wasn’t a good one.

Errr....?

I can’t remember what happened here, but Elaine’s not looking too hot.

Livi's got a guuurrrrlfriend!

Livi has decided to move on with her life and get a new girlfriend.  I can’t remember this one’s name, but I don’t think that she’s as much of an insane bitch as her last one.

Marlon puts on the movez

While two people who obviously hate one another battle it out in Central Park, Marlon meets a woman he likes the look of and starts chatting her up.  Will it end happily for him, we have to wonder?

Tags: Criminality, Family, Gaming, Growing Up, Jobs, Marriage, Relationships, Sims 3, Temper Family, The Sims
Posted in Temper Family, The Sims 3 | 1 Comment »

Open University students and referencing: an observer’s guide

I feel compelled to write this.  It’s not as though it’s the first time that I’ve ever mentioned this issue, oh hell no.  I think you might find that if you read through my older posts on my time with the OU, that you’ll see it’s a running theme.  Referencing.  Yep, one of the most common and integral parts of any university degree, the reference list at the end of each of your assignments.  As you get further through your degree so your list becomes longer.  However, it ALWAYS WORKS IN THE SAME FREAKING WAY.

And that’s something which people don’t seem to understand.

You're under arrest for crimes against referencing

This is my fourth (count that, 1…2…3…4) OU course, and the same thing has happened with each one.  In short, I believe it’s a case of very few students actually reading the part in the assignment booklet which tells them about referencing.

You see, the OU uses the Harvard Referencing Style.  With each and every course comes an assignment booklet which explains the same thing over and over again on how to reference.  However, this doesn’t seem to be enough.  In every single freaking tutorial since the start of this course someone has asked how to reference.  People ask seemingly on a weekly basis on the tutor group forum how to reference.  I got so tired of seeing people ask this question on there that one day I just wrote a single line response, telling the original poster to read page 8 onwards of the assignment booklet.  Geez, is it so difficult?

I don’t get it.  You’re constantly exposed to the assignment booklet and even references at the end of chapters in the course books which display exactly how the references should be, so why aren’t people understanding it?  In the first couple of tutorials we spent almost an hour going over referencing.  I even remember getting up and writing a whole reference on the whiteboard which included a URL because everyone else was too damn scared of getting it wrong.  Seriously – WTF is up with that?!

Why do students in all of my groups find it so difficult to just copy what’s been given to them?  I just simply don’t understand.

In the course of the…er, course they are dealing with entirely abstract socio-linguistic terms, ideas that may never have occured to them before and new material which they are totally alien to.  They can cope with all of that just fine, but when it comes to putting down a name, a year, a couple of titles, a publisher and some page numbers they are utterly stupified.  What am I missing here?

Why is it easier to explain the abstract idea of discourse communities and their social bearing than it is to state over the space of two lines where you got your information from?  Why is it so difficult when you have a wealth of examples of how it should be done right in front of you?  I just don’t get it.  It’s not even as though you only have the assignment booklet or chapters to point you in the right direction.  On the OU website there is a goldmine of information about referencing.  The assignment booklet section on referencing even opens with the following:

This section provides you with some general guidelines about using references in your assignments.  For more detailed information, we recommend that you consult the OU Library.

This problem has, in my experience so far, been most acute while doing U211.  In DD100 there was always someone who got it wrong.  In AA100 there was always a few who had to ask each time.  In A210 it was always the same person who had to ask despite having asked about it for months and being given the same answer.  So far, in U211 it’s the same people at each tutorial asking exactly the same questions over and over again.

This is how a reference should look at the end of an assignment.  This is a direct quote from my current assignment booklet:

Swann, J. (2007) ‘English voices’ in Graddol, D., Leith, D., Swann, J., Rhys, M. and Gillen, J. (eds) Changing English, London, Routledge/The Open University, pp.5-28.

Now I’m going to break that down so that it’s not specific.

Surname, Initial. (Year) ‘Chapter title’ in Surname, Initial. Of, All. (editors) Book Title, Place of publication, Publisher name, page or pages of reference.

Is that so difficult?  By the end of DD100 I had this all down to a T.  What I’ve also noticed is that many people on this course haven’t done any Level 1 courses.  For some crazy reason they’ve just thrown themselves into a Level 2 course with no prior knowledge of higher education or how OU courses work, and they wonder why they’re struggling?  Guys, don’t just throw yourselves into Level 2.  Do a Level 1 course first, even if you loathe the idea, because then you won’t fail at referencing.

And now I have a personal message to people about this problem.

Please, do you have to ask these questions at tutorials?  When you get the materials, read the sections on referencing, search online for the referencing system that your course/university uses.  The reason I ask this question is that I have seen many a frustrated tutor looking like they were going to go postal when someone asked during the tutorial for the fifth assignment, yet again, about how to reference the course book.  By this point, you really should have it down and you don’t need to ask that question.  If you do, then maybe you should go back to a Level 1 course until you’re ready for this?

The other reason I say it is because it wastes so much of the tutorial time with something that you should already know.  This is tutorial time that we could be using to ask pertinent questions.  Time where we could be discussing the issues in the assignment which may lead to good rounded answers being written.  Instead, we’re wasting time on repetitive questions because people cannot be bothered to read basic information that is given to them or even bother to try to understand the instructions they are being given.

Please, please, PLEASE.  Think before you ask that question about referencing.  By the time you get to Level 2 courses marks are being deducted when you get the references wrong.  You might have written the hottest, most banging assignment around, but you just let yourself down by getting your very simple references wrong.  It’s not actually difficult to use the Harvard system.  Please, think before you ask that question, again.  Think about the information we could be sharing instead of the tutor answering your question for the 50th time.  And please, remember that there’s got to be at least one person like me at each tutorial who is truly fed up of hearing you ask the same question over and over again.

69K3JQRS5T79

Tags: Degree, Open University, OU, Referencing, Students, U211, Writing
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Patrick Jane returns

Damn, I’m talking about television and it’s not Law and Order for once.

Friday, 19th February 2010 at 21:00 on FIVE.

The Mentalist returns.

Patrick Jane returns to The Mentalist

Tags: Channel Five, FIVE, Simon Baker, Simon Baker is hot, Television, The Mentalist
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