A Year in Team Fortress 2

Yep, it’s been a year since I plunged into the world of Team Fortress 2, or as it’s more commonly known TF2.  This is moment when I say:


A whole year?  Really?  It doesn’t feel like it.  TF2 was bought on a whim one day when I logged into Steam to play Day of Defeat: Source (or Day of Defear: Sauce as I keep spelling it) and saw that they had TF2 on offer for a couple of days.  Half price no less, and it’s probably the best £7 I’ve ever spent.

Over the past year I have played TF2 for almost 300 hours.  That’s no so bad.  That is the equivalent of twelve and a half days spent at this desk gaming.  It averages, recently anyway as about 15 hours over each two week period.  Over those 300 hours I have been frustrated, placated and entertained.  And here are my stats for the year 25th February 2009 until 24th February 2010.

Total playtime: 321.1 hours

Classes ranked by playtime
Medic – 70.2 hours
Engineer – 52.5 hours
Pyro – 29 hours
Soldier – 14.1 hours
Scout – 6.3 hours
Heavy – 5.7 hours
Demoman – 5.3 hours
Spy – 4.2 hours
Sniper – 3.4 hours

I don’t spy or snipe terribly well, as you can probably guess.

I have achieved almost 50% of all available Steam Achievements.

Records and statistics

The following is the record for each of these done within one life, from the instant of first spawning to the instant of death.

Most points: 43 (as Engineer)
Most kills: 14 (as Engineer)
Most kills by sentry: 14 (as Engineer)
Most assists: 14 (as Medic)
Most captures: 9 (as Soldier)
Most defenses: 5 (as Engineer)
Most damage: 2,891 (as Sniper)
Most destruction: 8 (as Spy)
Most dominations: 2 (as Medic)
Most revenges: 3 (as Pyro)
Most ÜberCharges: 4 (as Medic)
Longest life: 27:21 (as Engineer)
Most backstabs: 3 (as Spy)
Most buildings built: 14 (as Engineer)
Most headshots: 6 (as Sniper)
Most health healed: 8,962 (as Medic)
Most health leeched: 103 (as Spy)
Most teleports: 72 (as Engineer)

You can obviously tell, I’m a kind hearted person by the amount of time that I play the Medic.  I wish other people would play the Medic too, I’m getting kinda tired of being the Medic all the time.  And as much as I love playing the Engie, those darn spies are sappin’ mah patience.

If you see me round, say “Hi!”.  I like a game, and I’m a keep on playin’.

Age catches up with the Tempers

Well, not all of them, of course.  Previously we had one of the Tempers doing the right thing by his girl.  Now it’s all just getting a little messy.

For the love of money...

Alex, the ghostly one in politics was doing well in her career, and had become accustomed to asking for donations or throwing fundraisers.  While this sim willingly gave a donation, he then started to cry about it.

Age catches up with Marlon

After a distinguished career in the military Marlon decided to retire upon old age.  Now he had some catching up to do with the rest of the world.

The holy grail of repair jobs

Elaine finally asked Marlon who was maxed out in the handiness skill to have a go at repairing the stereo which caused her Mother’s death.


So, I sent Elaine down to the graveyard.  I wanted her to find some life fruit seeds.  While there, I noticed that you could interact with the mausoleum.  Yeah, she had a great time exploring those catacombs.  What did she get for her troubles?  A book.  A freaking book.  This was a moodlet that I hadn’t seen before.  Now, it’s a long while since I first got The Sims 3, but I’m still seeing new things.

Bobby's a hit

Bobby’s a hit now that he’s a movie composer.  He holds autograph signing events where people are so enamoured to see him that they don’t mind becoming a hood ornament.

Offending the guests?

Someone’s been offending the guests.

Dear ol' Livi tries one last time

Livi gives it one last go at getting her insane girlfriend to marry her.  You can guess on the outcome.  It wasn’t a good one.


I can’t remember what happened here, but Elaine’s not looking too hot.

Livi's got a guuurrrrlfriend!

Livi has decided to move on with her life and get a new girlfriend.  I can’t remember this one’s name, but I don’t think that she’s as much of an insane bitch as her last one.

Marlon puts on the movez

While two people who obviously hate one another battle it out in Central Park, Marlon meets a woman he likes the look of and starts chatting her up.  Will it end happily for him, we have to wonder?

Nobody loves me it’s true – Not like the Tempers do

SHOCK NEWS!  Casual relationship leads to babiez!

Second Baybee for casual relationship

I do have to say that I prefer casual relationships leading to baybeez in The Sims than the weird way it keeps the neighbourhood populated by just spawning kids to random people of both genders whether they are in a relationship or not.  Anyway, because they didn’t live in the Temper household, the kid was automatically called Seneca.  I didn’t realise that The Sims was quite as enlightened to name kids randomly after Roman Stoic Philosophers.

So this is military R&R

I’m assuming this is how he copes with his work, by impregnanting his gurlfriend every few days.


This was the first time I’d ever seen this happening.  Right across the road from Central Park outside City Hall there was a group of protesters.  They seem a bit pissed at the existance of horses, or is it cows?

Jeremy's let himself go

Jeremy wanted to be a reclusive author and make §4,000 per week in royalties.  I had to make him look as though he didn’t wash or have a mirror.  He looks more like a Colombian drug lord.  He looks like he’s high on Colombia’s finest too.

That's not a book he's writing.

Nah, it’s his latest import of the white-stuff™.  Oh sorry, we should be looking at the marriage proposal taking place here, and not Jeremy.

Better luck next time

At this exact moment, Livi found out that her girlfriend had the “Insane” trait.  Too fucking right, bitch.  She had turned down the marriage proposal and had the gall to comfort Livi.  She looks freaking insane too.

Rinse and repeat

Livi gave it another go a few days later, hoping that her woman couldn’t resist someone in uniform.

Same deal, same deal

Unfortunately Livi was completely wrong and she was rejected yet again.  This woman still had the cheek to comfort her.

Fin's an adult

Well, a young adult.  And he wants to be a rockstars.  I called him Fin when he was adopted because the character of Fin Tutuola in SVU tickles me.  Looks nothing like him though.

Fatty gets a girlfriend, or does he?

Bobbie here managed to get to the top of the Symphonic Branch of the music career.  However, he was not really a…er…people person.  The lowest ebb was normally his relationship with other orchestra members.  He decided to actively work on that by having an affair with a colleague who was married to someone else.  Bobbie’s a bastard.

If you’re fond of Tempers and salty air

Having previously reduced the size of the gene pool in the town, the Temper family carry on.

Livi meets a laydee

I’ve been trying out the same-sex pregnancy hack which I link to from my FAQs, and thought that it would be a good move to try it with two laydeez.  Unfortunately I can’t make enough space in the household but here Livi meets a laydee and asks if she’s attached to anyone.  Fast mover is Livi.

So that's "Formal Attire"?

Livi took this woman out for dinner at the town bistro which goes with formal attire when you are about to enter.  This is Livi’s girlfriend’s idea of formal attire.  If you’ve got it, flaunt it I suppose.

A Clockwork orange

Just a random picture taken in Central Park.  This place is turning into A Clockwork Orange.

Laydeez get it onz

After a hard day at work (in the Police) Livi brings her girlfriend home for some R&R.

Mercury visits his baby

Mercury is not the absent Father.  Every opportunity he has he visits his woman and baby Deena.

Hmm, kids will be kids

One of the reasons that I am Childfree is because I can’t deal with shit like this.  It might look cute to some people, but to me a kid hiding in a toybox is nothing more than an opportunity for a telling off.

Next baby purlease?

They’re not even officially dating.  I suppose they’re friends with benefits.

Mercury's kid becomes a kid!

Mercury’s oldest kid becomes a child.  I only just noticed, the reflection in the mirror fits very well with the person standing outside.

Will you be mah gurlfriend?

With Tessa pregnant for the second time Mercury decides it’s the perfect time to aks his woman to be his gurlfriend fo’ realz.

Jeremy becomes a Young Adult

Yeah, this is Jeremy.  He’s even less appealing to look at than his namesake – many people would say that’s impossible.  And on that bombshell…!

Having kiddies with [distant] relatives

It was achievements abound last time we visited the Tempers.  Now it’s just a case of having kiddies with your relatives.

"Did you know we're related?" she asked.

Previously I had mentioned how Mercury had a thing for a girl in another part of the town, and I found out her name was Tessa Temper.  Well, she’s the great-great-great-great grandchild of Methusela Temper.  I think we’re lucky in that there’s been quite a dilution of the gene pool between these two that their kid shouldn’t have two heads and three and a half eyes.

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

It seems that Elaine’s mother is trying to scare the old woman to death.  Elaine should really be dead already as her life bar is full and has been for a while, but it seems that her very-long-dead Mother is trying to hurry up the process.

No surprises

It is no surprise that Tessa is pregnant, is it?

Dedicated daddy?

Mercury was a good boy really.  Despite feeling absolutely wrecked after a day at work in THE ARMY, the first thing he does is visit his bitch woman and make her feel good about herself around her family.  The woman with the blue hotpants should really invest in something a little less…revealing.

Seriously guys?

Even being fat, ugly and up the duff couldn’t stop these two from getting jiggy with it.


For a long time Elaine had wanted to get to know Tessa.  I decided that at such a special time like this that Tessa would pay her a visit.  Elaine learned that Tessa was unemployed and in Elaine’s eyes that is a good thing if she’s having a kid.  Best thing that Elaine did was give up work…blah, blah, fucking blah.

We're not a healthcare provider, you know?

Tessa stayed a fuck of a long time.  So long in fact that she went into labour.  As all of the others screamed and did nothing, I got Mercury up from his slumber (it was late in the afternoon, his job is hard, apparently) and made him take her to the hospital, otherwise that kid would have been born then and there.

Aww, an ickle girl

*Barf* another fucking Temper kid.  You’ll be pleased to know this is one of the final generation of Tempers.  After…oh, let me see, another kid or two from other sources the Temper clan will finally come to an end.  If I recall correctly this kid is called Deena.  I didn’t name it, it was automatic.

Yes, yes. I know, I'm a great father!

He’s a modest guy too, isn’t he?  He’s trying to become an astronaut.  Good luck to him.  He’s got it easy though as he won’t have to hang around this freaking kid, so maybe he can get somewhere in life.