The Funke Family: Part Eight

Where were we last time?  Ah yes, Blake had grown up and left because she couldn’t cope with the idea of being both a half-sister and an aunt to some kids.  Dustin died and Irene was up the duff.  What could possibly go wrong?

Growing up is hard to do

Dustin’s first kid with Irene became a child.  At least she wasn’t really old enough to remember her father.

Damn that mailbox!

I don’t think for one moment that she is an angelic mother.  Anything but.

There's plenty to go round!

So…there’s a bit of a surprise when Irene gives birth at the hospital.  Yeah…there are three of them.  So with Adonis and Dustina added into the mix, Irene now has five kids.  Awesome sauce.  They were called, I think, Dustella, Dominique and Carena.

Mike: I want to marry her. Carol: I want to beat him with a dumbbell.

I can’t remember this one’s name properly, was it Carol?  Oh well, whatever.  She decided to get hot and heavy with Michael Batchelor, who was engaged to Emma Hatch (I think that was her name), but Carol here got Michael to break up with Emma and marry her instead.  It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship, and an end to any money worries Carol had.

You're an adonis alright.

Adonis became a young adult, and decided that he wanted to use his brain instead of his body to make his living.  He promptly joined the Professional Athletics career.

How's it hanging, Carol?

Irene visits her sister in her new pad.  Carol was pregnant, Irene was jealous.

One out of three ain't bad

It became time for the triplets to grow up.  The first one…

Oooh, sparkles!

The second one…

Ooo, pritty!

And the third one!  Although this one looks like it’s going to be a Mexican wrestler when it grows up.

My Santa Fe Queen, she's got the Santa Fe Lean!

In case you don’t understand the caption to that picture, here’s an explanation.

The Funke Family: Part Seven

Previously we had family members related in two ways, and it was getting a little messy.

Treat her like a laydee

Blake’s now a young adult, so treat her like a lady.

And Carol's now a fully fledged adult

She was doing well in the Music career, which is good stuff, but she was considering if she should do more with her life than just play the gee-tar.

Voyerism 101

Irene was trying to screw Dustin, but Carol seemed to have this desperate desire to watch.  I found that a little creepy.

Sink or vom?

Good choice woman, very good choice.  Nothing worse than upchucking into the sink while it’s spraying water everywhere.

Let's cement this relationship

With denture cement, maybe.

Keep that cell phone next to your foetus!

It’ll be win all round.

Err, yeah, so, I'm, like, a bit pregnant, right?

Another bit of child support if they don’t get hitched pretty soon.

That one, behind us...she's a bit speshul

Blake spent some quality time with her father, gossiping about her siblings.

A little too late

But it was a little too late to get to know her Father.  While Blake was still young, Irene still pregnant and engaged, Dustin popped his clogs.  It was devastating for Irene, but relief for Blake to a degree as the situation was getting weird.  Her Father would also have been her uncle had he and Irene got married.

Wake me up before you go go

Blake didn’t want to cope with the idea of a new kid joining the family that would remind her of her Father and be both another niece/nephew as well as a brother/sister, so she moved out.  Damn, some families need some therapy.

The Funke Family: Part Six

Previously, on The Funkes, boys were getting married, girls were becoming women and the matriarch died.

Irene seeks comfort

Irene sought comfort with a friend of the family after the death of her Mother.  A very special form of comfort.


Dear old Sabrina was gone, and now having seen the grave in the garden Dustin could join in with Irene’s grief.

The comforting nature of a bed

Neither of them seemed to care that Dustin was Sabrina’s former flame or that he fathered at least one kid.

A little less comforting now?

Vomit, or answer the phone?  I think you made the right choice Irene.

Someone grows up, I assume Adonis.

Irene was rather too absorbed with her new man to notice that her Son was getting ever closer to adulthood.

Err...guess what?

He seems a little…you know, surprised?

New pregnancy, new haircut

At some point during her pregnancy I changed her look, and seemingly the fact that she’s in labour is secondary to that.

Oh baby

She had a girl.  No, the name escapes me.  Now, this is getting a little awkward.  This little baby here was not only a niece for dear old Blake, but also her half sister.

Motherhood takes its toll

It would seem that being stuck at home all day has made Irene go a little mental.

Don't they grow up so fast?!

And before we know it, Irene’s latest kid is already a toddler.  You know, I have a feeling that I called this kid Dustina.

The Funke Family: Part Five

Where did we leave this motley crew?  Ah yes, Sabrina was getting jiggy with her ghost of a husband.

Chance is experimenting

Chance thought he might be a little bit gay, so he thought he’d have a go with it.  Blake doesn’t look so happy about that.

I remember his name now!

This is Irene’s kid becoming a child.  He’s called Adonis, and is that product of two mothers.

This is photobomb

Blake became quite attractive as a teenager.

Chance is at it again

At least no-one can see this time, that Chance is experimenting with yet another boy.

Getting past that phase?

Chance is on the cusp of young adulthood.  I wonder if he will grow out of his gay experiments?

Irene's pushing her luck

Another stereo, another mishap.

Grimmy, have mercy on my poor soul.

He pardoned her, yet again.  Crazy guy.

Oh, I guess it wasn't a phase

Now the Chance was an adult he could do as he pleased.  So he promptly went round to the Goth house after work one evening and proposed to his boyfriend.

Off she goes...

Sabrina finally dies.  Both Irene and Blake look distraught, don’t you think?

The big day arrives

When Chance became an adult his everyday outdoor clothing seemed to be these pajamas.  He even married his boyfriend in them and moved into the Goth household.  I would never suggest he’s marrying for money.