The Bakers: Back and still not giving a damn about one another

So last time Becky was getting half naked in front of her parents and kid, Svetlana was picking up the slack with Topher, and Heathcliff was fucking off to go fishing every day.

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For some stupid reason I decided that I wanted Becky to have another kid and dump it on her parents, so she had to meet a guy.  I would have got her back with her ex, but according to the family tree and her relationships she didn’t have an ex, and her kid Topher just materialised out of nothing, as he doesn’t have a father listed.

Anyway, I got her to meet Geoffrey Landgraab.  They met at a party, he was the only guy there that didn’t look 100% douche.  So she danced with him.  That’s nice.

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I sent Becky to this party thinking that she would get some food because she was hungry, and man…it’s a party, you get food in these places.  There was none.  So, I told Becky to go and make some food for everyone to share.  This cray-cray cow freaked out at Becky cooking in someone else’s house.

I love their ideas of what is socially acceptable and what isn’t.

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“Jesus guys, it’s just a fucking salad.”

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While Becky was out dear Topher was at home being “looked after” by his grandparents.  There was less looking after, and more of them getting jiggy in front of him.  I think he sicked up in his mouth a bit.

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Still in a bid to get away from bringing up someone else’s kid Heathcliff would now go out fishing and then dumpster diving.  Living the dream man, living the dream.

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Just before Becky was about to get jiggy with Geoffrey her father got electrocuted by the TV and wandered around the house half naked.  WHAT A WAY TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION.  It’s only marginally worse than the fact that Becky made dinner for Geoffrey: grilled cheese sandwiches.

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“Fuck off Dad.  I’m trying to get some!”

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While his mother was getting some, and his grandfather was slightly singed Topher became a teenager.  I can only imagine how much therapy he is going need.

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“Just a bad prawn guys, honest.  I couldn’t possibly be pregnant!”

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And so it begins.  Topher’s odd upbringing seems to be on show now.  I wouldn’t really call that a professional face painting job that you paid §50 for.  That looks more like you smeared some kale over your face.

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